I love yoga. It really helps to clear my mind. Something about the rhythm of my breath and the lengthening of my muscles just puts everything in perspective and I can sort through all of my thoughts and learn to trust my Heavenly Father. It's interesting to me that yoga is a religious practice for Hindus and Buddhists and yet, at least to me, it has implications in my own faith as well. That hour or so of meditation and focus really helps me understand my life better and my place in this world and in my Father's plan.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
And I doubt I'll receive answers any time soon.
I wish I knew things that I don't. I wish I knew what I would be doing after I graduate. I wish I knew how we would be able to afford a family with Cory still in school for the next 6 years. I wish I could see just a little bit of how the future will be.
I've never wanted anything more than to be a mother. I do have ambitions and things that I want to be or become but nothing that compares with having my own children. And yet, the more I think about what's in store for us, the more I wonder if that aspect of my life will be possible as soon as I was hoping it would. The more I think about it the more likely it seems that we just won't be able to afford it or handle the stress until we leave Provo and honestly, it kinda hurts. I go over these things and all the different scenarios over and over in my head but I can never draw any real conclusions. I've been trying to learn to trust the Lord but I've always been a forward thinker and being so unsure about so many things is hard. It's hard for me to humble myself to that extent. It's hard being so patient.